SUDDENLY!.....huh?

Yes you saw right. I have decided to renounce my maniacal drinking tendencies. "GASP! OH MY! HOLY FU**! etc.etc." Bet that's what a lot of you chaps thought when you saw that earth-shaking and bowel loosening news. But yes, sad as it may be for those liqour parlours which i used to frequent, i will be as mentioned before, limiting myself to just 5 glasses of alcohol per night, JUST 5. Now, some of you might, and have asked me the size of these glasses and as i have replied it will depend on how i feel that day. Now when i say "feel", i don't mean such petty emotions as happy or depressed, what i meant was whether i felt like drinking a lot or not. So, for example, i could limit myself to just 5 shot-glasses for one night, while i could drink 5 jugs on another. Now, i'm sure you would all like to know why the sudden change, well a good reason is that i'd much prefer this minor inconvenience than having to replace most of my internal organs in a couple of years time, which i have to say would most likely be rather unpleasant, and a literal pain in the arse. That and because i made a rather startling discovery that when extremely drunk i tend to become a homicidal maniac, or in simpler terms, murderously violent. As was the case when i tried to stone a cop car, smash my brother's laptop, etc.etc. So there you have it, no more wild drinking for me folks. Just 5 glasses, thats all. On another more depressing note, i am finally back "down-under". And surprise surprise, the first thought which formed in my mind as soon as i got off the plane was "Screw this, i'm taking the next flight home." And with this thought in mind, this post will come to a close.
"I'm just a simple guy, but i'm not going to get high this time."